HIM - In Joy And Sorrow

HIM - The Funeral Of Hearts

Happy Birthday Hima

Another year has passed since you went away. Today is your birthday and a day near your passing. I went to the cemetery and it was such a beautiful day. I sang happy birthday to you and then looked down and found a four leaf clover by your headstone. I couldn't have asked for a better sign to let me know you were there and heard me, thank you. I also found two more four leaf clovers. One was by Papa's headstone and the other by Daddy's. It makes me want to think you all were there with me while I came to see you on your birthday. Thank you for always being there for me and looking out for me. Happy birthday Hima. I love and miss you so much. Love, Dolly

I Will Be The End Of You!

One day you're going to wonder and it is going to eat at you. You're going to have to find out how I am, what I have been up to and where I am now. Curiosity is going to eat at your soul, put worry on your mind and an ache in your heart.

May

When my grandmother Hima passed away in May 1998, my cousin Jenness went to Finland on business so he couldn't make it to her funeral but had made it to her wake. I wish at that moment in time he could have taken me away to Finland, away from that pain of watching my grandmother die right before me taking her last breath and being her only surviving heir to take care of all the arrangements. She passed a day within her birthday. May is a bittersweet month for me. I try and make new and happy memories for this month of May. I have succeeded for the most but still there is pain. May to me is bittersweet and always will be. Spring is here and a new dawn will appear to lead me out of my despair once more but never closing that door. I wish to you all a very Happy May Day!